Day 13

Success for the day - I woke up early and didn't miss my rhetoric class! Woohoo! I was able to grab a few pieces of bacon and a handful of cashews on my way out the door, only to return to coffee when I returned.

My love-hate relationship with coffee has ascended to a unhealthy level. You see, pre-Whole30, I loved my coffee with creamer, etc. Now (that coffee has successfully grasped ahold of my brain and LIFE) I can't go a day without it and I think the black coffee is hurting my stomach. I actually resent having to drink it black but it's like a drug that I don't want.

How I was PRE-Whole30 

My hatred of coffee during Whole30 

Anyways, I think coffee has a mind of its own because I was getting read to go through de-caffination  when I realized that the decaf coffee at home had chocolate in it.

    

    You might be wondering, "What the hell kind of coffee has chocolate in it?" 

   

    Let me explain something to you about my father. My father is one of the greatest men that I know - a fire inspector, bomb technician, and USAR member. His kryptonite, however, is McDonalds Mocha Frappes*. He gets 1-3 of these little sugar punches per day, and even knows the exact amount of money each size is during regular hours and, of course, happy hours. Cause what makes a sugar addict happier than a cheap shot of chocolate straight to the heart? Nothing. 

This Mocha Frappe addiction was not only costly on the paycheck, but also on his health. My parents try to eat as Paleo as they can manage. As you can probably guess, Mocha Frappes are NOT Paleo. Since then, my father has tried everything to recreate a "paleo" Mocha Frappe, which included buying coffee grounds mixed with chocolate. 

Dad taking a selfie on Christmas 

This is why we had chocolate coffee. And that is why I was not able to start my fight against caffeine today (alas, you win again).

   For lunch, I had leftover kalua pork (still going strong) and a crap ton of spinach. I even made a little art that I will show you. 

My future initials <3 <3
I didn't want to rotate it. Sorry not sorry  

Afterwards, I went on the treadmill to do some high interval training, but then I remembered how much I hate running on treadmills. So instead I upped the incline to 12% and walked for 2 episodes of New Girl (how I measure time) - and cried because it was the season finale. Literally, I am Jess. My friend in high school used to call me Jess because I am so much like her in awkwardness. Plus, some even say I look like her....I'll let you decide. 

THEN, I met with my florist for my wedding!!!! (who also happens to be my boss...) It was pretty exciting. Ma came with and we had a lovely time as I drank some caffeinated tea (was boycotting coffee at the moment).

On a more serious note, this day has been difficult. I'm not seeing any results I was expecting. I'm still hungry all the time and my stomach/poop is still super weird. I haven't lost much, if any weight, and I'm finding it hard to stay positive.

Levi is such a babe and spent time talking to me about the positive things from this experience, but it's so difficult to see. I'm not happy eating this way. Sure, I like the challenge, but after the 30 days....then what? 

I've read so many places that I will love the way I feel/look after the 30 days to the point where I won't want to return to my old ways, but I haven't even begun to experience anything like that. I still would rather eat a box of cookies instead of spending an hour in the kitchen or running 3 miles. I don't know if my brain can ever "reset" to "healthy". Plus, I have polycystic ovaries, which is definitely not helping the weight loss factor. 

As I've stated before, I'm going to finish the Whole30 mostly because I told myself I would. It's great discipline for me and it's become somewhat routine. I'm just doubting the end results will ever be anything greater than what a donut looks like to me. #collegestudentforlife

How I Felt Today: 

*Specifically a medium mocha frappe with no whipped cream but keep the chocolate drizzle.