Day 5

I DIDN'T DIE!!!!!!!!!

Even with three classes and work today, I managed to stay on the diet (okay, lifestyle change). The carb flu is still going strong, my poop is still green and stinky, but I'm here <3

My stomach is still touchy in the morning, so I just had my cup of coffee with some bacon and brought half an avocado to class while we watched Iron Jawed Angels (a movie about the women's suffrage movement and getting us ladies the right to vote). It has Hilary Swank in it, and most of the time I was thinking about one of 2 things:

   P.S. I Love You

I was actually obsessed with this scene and transformed my whole wardrobe to be "free" and "colorful" like her character.

and the scene in The Office where they can't decide if Hilary Swank is hot or not.

Measuring the symmetry of her face by Oscar

Regardless, it's a pretty good movie and my avocado was pretty great as well. 

I had some leftover chicken noodle soup when I got home and then made some of my 'booch (kombucha tea stuff) to take with me because DANG IT FEELS LIKE SPRING! 

After my afternoon class, I went to work and actually finished my homework there since hardly no one came in. Well, I lie. There was one girl who was studying Music Therapy (so cool, right?!) in Colorado and came home for her spring break. We had a nice chat as she bought some earrings. 

Dinner was my leftover shrimp/half of Mom's hamburger/bacon-fat-greased broccoli. 

Levi came over to cut out the sheets for his 8th graders to make togas, because they're doing an "Ides of March" production of Julius Caesar. I'm seriously amazed by him and the school he works at. For one, Levi graduated with a degree in Classics and has absolutely zero formal teaching background. He now is teaching K-8th graders Latin from a program that he created on his own and is KILLIN it. His school is very low-income and diverse and most of the time it's overlooked here. For example, I had never been to their church and I've lived here my entire life. The way they're teaching those kids, however, seems to surpass any other. 

Isn't he the most handsome teacher you ever saw?! DAMNNN 

Today, Levi said he walked into the 3rd grade classroom and they were doing compliment circles. I only have done a compliment circle once, and it was during a Church camp my senior year of high school. These teachers are teaching (lol) their students to not only give love but also receive it. I'm still amazed. 

If you've never done a compliment circle before, here's the gist. You sit in a circle with a small group of people and everyone has a turn to compliment each person in the circle. The catch is that you have to look them in the eye and say thank you rather than shrugging it off like we often like to do. SO POWERFUL. Hats off to you guys. 

But that's been pretty much my day. It's been good and I'm amazed that I'm already 5 days in. My cravings are still there, but it's not bothering me to eat "healthy" foods. In fact, my teacher had leftover donuts today in class and I didn't take one.  Usually, I always take one, even if I'm not hungry because hey! free doh's. 

All together, this is how I felt today: 

Mostly because of spring...but still..

Day 4

Wow, what a day.

This morning was extremely rough, to the point where I almost quit (on day 4, I know, I know). I had massive stomach pains, green caca, fatigue, and a pounding headache. My mother swears it's the carb flu, and she's never wrong.

Regardless, it took me until 1:30 PM to finally do something with my life other than sit around and look at Buzzfeed articles while my headache calmed itself and I sipped my coffee. The rest of the afternoon was spent with being in the kitchen, hanging with the J-man, and doing homework because spring break ENDS TODAY.

The Office tends to match what I'm feeling at all times.

In addition, I'm finding all my time has been in the kitchen and I. AM. NOT. A. FAN. This isn't a feminist rant or anything, I just loathe having to spend so much time on food. What would I rather be doing?
           Literally anything. Riding my bike, taking Tess to the dog park, watching The Office, taking salsa lessons with Levi, letting my nieces cover me with makeup, anything.*

Regardless of my ranting, the day got better. My Dad made this killer chicken noodle soup, but instead of noodles, they used some roots that taste like rice but actually aren't rice (it's called bismasiti or something like that, but not basmati rice. because I love basmati rice.) Then, I mixed some kombucha, which is pretty much moldy tea that's actually good for you (see picture below), with La Croix and some frozen berries.

It's basically hippy hooch, but with <.05% alcohol, and is full of probiotics. Yup, that's mold. 

Last, but not least, I finished my homework and am just about to head to sleep. Today was a good day, but WHO KNOWS what will happen once I return to the craziness of college.

How I felt today about Whole30:

Peace. Love. Blessings. 

Amanda 

*anything doesn't include being stabbed by a needle, murdered, giving blood, losing my memory, or being in open water

Day 3

***Currently writing this on Day 4***    

     I gotta say, I lost an hour of sleep thanks to Springing Forward, feel like I got hit with a semi truck, read the last book in my favorite series last night and cried until 12:45 (shoutout to Levi for staying with me and holding me as I bawled my eyes out), and my stomach is doing weird things. That being said, I honestly don't remember much about 24 hours ago.

Side Note: These books that I just finished reading are called the Mistborn series and they are literally the best. Not only is the protagonist of the story a woman, but she's a relatable, broken one like the rest of us who overcomes her struggles. Plus, she's a bad-ass. I've been putting off reading the last book in the series because I didn't want it to end. I'm the type of person who grows relationships with characters, and I couldn't stand to let them go. In honor of them, here's a drawing of the main character, Vin.

OK BACK TO REALITY.

    I do remember eating coffee, bacon, and cashews for breakfast before going to my pottery class. Pottery is such a stress reliever, I'm still terrible but working with your hands and being completely immersed in art is crazy good for stress.

   Lunch was some leftover chicken I had made with blackberries and my asparagus, which I will probably make again today. I was constantly going all day yesterday, and I'm surprised that I didn't fall asleep at work because of how tired I was. The carb flu was finally hitting, and man, oh man, did it feel like a hurricane. My little sister, Lucy, also had strep throat, so I'm not sure how to tell the difference between the carb flu and other sicknesses. Maybe my college professors will understand and let me skip class.....

   It was also my older sister, Kim's birthday - woohoo 32! Luckily, her family is primarily primal (LOL) and the dinner was pork/beef patties with lettuce buns, salad, and potato fries which I successfully avoided. I may have over ate a little by eating two burgers, half an avocado, about 12 carrots, cashews, and a little Whole30 "pudding" I made, and the rest of the night my stomach started doing crazy dances.

   All in all, I so wanted those mini cupcakes at her party or even her homemade paleo coffee cake, but I refrained. Luckily, my family is extremely supportive and my sister even apologized for having potato fries (seriously, how kind).

   Anywho, that's pretty much all I got. Day 3 kinda sucked. This is how I remember feeling:

 

Day 2

     Wow, today was a good day. *Cue Ice Cube's ballin tunes and thuggin face cause that's how I feel right now* 

Representation of me conquering Day 2 AND  no meat 

     I woke up with some semblance of the carb flu, and immediately thanked the Good Lord above for letting it be spring break so I could sleep in. I made a mistake at breakfast by not reading the instructions. Little did I know, this chia seed pudding thing would need to refrigerate OVERNIGHT. Instead of being angry with myself, however, I thought, "Oh look at me, accidentally planning for tomorrow." 

   

    Regardless, I had my black coffee, pistachios, and blackberries for breakfast and was prepared for lunch. I defrosted (I think that's the word) (jk it's thawed) my shrimp with cold water, because apparently thawing seafood with warm water is a college party for bacteria where lots of babies are made. The actual recipe called for some chicken stock and my beautiful mother warned me of the evaporated cane sugar in it (drats, Whole Foods). Instead, on the whim, I made this delicious garlic and butter shrimp dish with zucchini noodles (the impasta of my longtime b.f.f. pasta).

    While there was a little too much lemon for my taste buds, it was a success. What. I also had a crap ton of snap peas and one of my homemade Larabars which consisted of dates and cashews. Who knew?

   Then, to top off the day, I went on a little bike ride, laid in the sunshine and scolded my dog for rolling around in the neighbor's leaf pile (last week she rolled in her own poop. sometimes I wonder if she's going senile or her anxiety is acting up.) She is pretty cute, though. Here's a picture of Tess because I'm a picture person. 

We call ourselves the Party Trio (p.s. thats my fiancé, who is the most phenomenal man I've ever met)

     After work, which was day 2 of avoiding the devilish chocolates, I went home and magically made half an avocado transform into guacamole (I'm a master), one egg (still makes me gag), and my asparagus. I say "my" asparagus because I'm pretty sure I make the greasiest, crispiest, bestest asparagus in the world and I'm ecstatic that I can use as much bacon fat as I want during the Whole30. 

    Now, I'm not sure why, but I'm still hungry quite often. I read a bunch of forums online and the answer I got was either eat more fat (sounds good to me) or eat more protein (okay LETS DO IT). So, I'm gonna buy olives tomorrow and munch on those. 

    Also, I took my "Before" picture today for some visual representation of how far I *hope* I go. I would upload it, but it's of me in my skivvies, so I'll just take a selfie instead. 

Quick snippet into my life: I'm slightly paranoid that people are watching me through my Webcam, especially after I read a story about a man who took pictures of people watching Netflix on their own computer and then sent the pictures to the couple. That's probably really confusing, but basically my anxiety plays into my technological life. That being said, I have a piece of tape constantly over my Webcam, so when I went to take a picture, this is what happened. 

Think of it this way, if THIS was my "Before" picture, I would go so far! Too bad it's just my tape. 

.

"Before" 

   YAY! Day 2 was kinda a success. 

This is how I'm feeling :

Thanks for the support. Love you all. 

Peace

Amanda 

Day 1

     I did it. Somehow, someway, I made it through Day 1. 29 more to go!!!

     The day started off real strong with getting breakfast with my best friend (shoutout to Claire who has been with me since the pre-K days) and feeling confident in my ability to adult and "diet".

This is from the birthday when Claire gifted me with soap.  

However many years later, and we're still at it. 

     Claire and I met up to talk Whole30 - why I'm doing it, how to do it, if she should do it, etc. I was so excited to start and I ordered something with tomatoes in it, which is a huge step for me. Basically, I left the restaurant feeling like I could conquer the world.

Egg white omelet with tomatoes, grilled chicken, and fresh avocados.

     Naturally, I would run into road bumps, but damn it, I thought I evened those out before I started. I mean, I even went grocery shopping! What else did this program want from me! Here are the few mistakes I ran into:

1. Remember to THAW the chicken drumsticks before trying to make a meal. (This resulted in a very angry Amanda eating guacamole instead of Chicken with Rosemary and Roasted Oranges).
2. Become accustomed to all the weird doo-dads of the kitchen (i.e. where the heck is our slow cooker, do we even have a meat thermometer?!)
3. Remember that during Lent, there's no meat on Fridays...leading to a late night Whole Foods run. 
4. Instead of leaving said chicken in the fridge to thaw for 4 hours, leave it on the counter. This mistake led to me eating at 9:20 PM instead of 8:30 PM because the meat stayed pink for forever. (I did find the meat thermometer, though). 
5. Everything requires time. Even the fricken smoothie that looked so good requires extra ingredients, money, and time. 
6. Fruit and meat is not a good idea. 
7. Eggs still kinda make you gag.
8. Get the salted pistachios next time because treat yo self. 

     On the other side, here are my SUCCESSES for today:

1. Even though I wanted to eat all those little candies at work, I completely refrained.
2. I made two meals today that weren't just Mac n' Cheese
3. I went and bought groceries for a shrimp meal tomorrow
4. Even though the meal was a flop, I still managed to feed myself before 10 PM. 
5. I didn't accidentally eat any of the rice noodles that Papa made.
6. I AM ALIVE AND HERE. 

To some, my successes may seem like an over-exaggeration, but this is literally how difficult it is for me to get through this challenge. Cooking still stresses me out and I have a hard time understanding why you would ever deviate from the things you know you love, because then meals are never a flop. While the chicken with rosemary and roasted oranges (Blogger just auto-corrected oranges to organs...weird) was probably good to most, my pre-pubescent taste buds still have to adjust. 

Overall, I made it through today. I have a plan for tomorrow and it's time to treat myself with some reading time and/or New Girl. 

Day 1 Picture Representation of How I Feel: 

this is all I want. 

Well, here we go.

My name is Amanda. I love donuts and I hate eating healthy. 

(on a side note, my 6 year old niece (she just yelled IM SIX AND A HALF as she's reading over my shoulder) just asked if I was pregnant in this picture because my tummy was sticking out a bit)

      Until I was 17, my metabolism was in control of my body and I never had to worry about, erm, extra weight gain. My nights consisted of 2 AM Amigos runs (both figuratively and literally) and never exercising unless it was to take my dog to the dog park. 

      Two years later, yesterday in fact, I saw a picture of myself that I wasn't a fan of. Meaning, I broke down and cried because I didn't realize that's how I looked. Don't get me wrong, I love myself and my curves and I know I'm not overweight, but I struggle with body image as well. The breakdown might have been induced by Nature's monthly sucker-punch, the stress of planning a wedding (198 days to go!), and trying to adult, which is indeed a verb. 

According to Urban Dictionary, "adulting" is: to do grown up things and hold responsibilities such as, a 9-5 job, a mortgage/rent, a car payment, or anything else that makes one think of grown ups. 

Used in a sentence: Jane is adulating quite well today as she is on time for work promptly at 8AMand appears well groomed. 

Anyways, I'm trying to adult by getting a new-used car with my fiancé, budgeting a Dave Ramsey budget (#totalmoneymakeover) so we can overcome our mountain of student debt, and going to school to become an Communication Scholar. All that said, my eating habits have not been my first priority, and rightly so. My therapist says that I should follow my true joy, and if that means gaining a few pounds here and there, so be it.

I've followed my happiness, and ate so much Dairy Queen to get me through my anxiety, but I can't take it anymore. Once I saw that picture, I went heeeellllll nahhhh. The reason I'm starting this Whole30 shindig probably isn't the best reason, and I will probably be miserable while I'm doing it, which brings me to the reason I started a blog.

I want this blog to be an example for all you people out there who cringe at the word diet, because that is me. All of the other blogs I've read seem to be from women who love being healthy and being organic and are already running marathons. As stated before, I usually hate being healthy and I'm terrible at cooking and planning. Being the type B person that I am, some nights I might forget to plan a meal and end up eating carrots for dinner. 

I'm going to vent and swear and hold cookie dough until it is absorbed through my skin, but I'm going to try. Mother, I'm trying to eat healthy. 

Day 1 is tomorrow and I actually went grocery shopping and bought all the supplies I would need to ensure I eat (Side note: I'm the pickiest eater you've ever met). I can give the list, maybe, but I hate grocery lists so I'm just going to put what I eat tomorrow.

Thanks for following, reading, and please, please, pray for me. 

Peace,

Amanda